Have you ever thought about life and death? I have always wondered why we are here. Why we are born in a certain time and place. I was a 1980s child, born during a time of conflict and uncertainty, forced to walk hundreds of miles across forest-infested landmines with my mother and two sisters in search of a better life.

I remember gazing up to the sky, my back laying flat on the grass, feeling it prickle my back, wondering why am I here. If I closed my eyes right now, would I wake up at a different time or place? Would I be in the 1940s in the midst of the great depression? It was the thoughts of a 13-year-old and now two decades wiser and standing in front of Jerry, who passed a day after Valentine’s Day, I still don’t know the answer to this question. 

Death Changes Our Perspectives

There is nothing more jarring than to see then the lifeless body of one you knew or interacted with. It is incomprehensible that they could be here and gone the next. And yet in front of us, is exact proof of it. The truth is, we are all light beings, filled with a soul enclosed in a physical body. At the moment of death, like a candle blown out in the wind, the soul leaves and all we have left is the physical body. 

Thinking of his death reminds me that life is not permanent and that our next hour, day, or year is not guaranteed. We could be here now and gone the next moment.  If we only had now, would we do anything differently?

“Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

– Buddha

Death is the Final Stop

In some ways, life is like being in a car on a highway. There are many stops on the road. Some people are with us for a short ride, perhaps until the next stop while others are there for the whole journey. While it is unclear how far we will travel on this road of life or for how long, all of us will have a final stop. And when we reach this stop, what are some things we have left behind?

Deeds Before Death

We can have the biggest house in the world or the most expensive car, but we cannot take any of that with us. Only the merits and the good deeds that we do for others. This is the basis of Buddha’s teaching and the concept of karma. Do good, and you shall receive good in your next life. It could be as simple as making and offering food for your elderly parent or donating to a local charity. 

Honoring Those Who Passed

I didn’t know Jerry very well, only that he married Denise, who was family. It was evident that Jerry was a good man as hundreds gathered at his funeral yesterday, young and old to pay their respects and final goodbye. His son, Kenneth, and seven of his closest friends and family shaved their heads, and beards, and wore bright orange Buddhist robes to honor him.  

“When I go, don’t learn to live without me, just learn to look for me in the moments”

– Donna Ashworth from LOSS.

He was well-loved and will be sorely missed by those who shared the road of life with him, especially his wife and three children.   

Final Words

Just as birth is part of life so is death. Grief and joy is like the sun and moon and will come in waves. In light of seeing death through a funeral, may we be reminded of how precious and important life truly is. That we recognize each day and moment as a blessing and opportunity to do good.

Have you experienced the loss of someone you loved? What did it teach you?