The Day I Dyed My Hair

“What color would you like?” the hairdresser asked. I showed her a pic of a girl, with long curly hair with brown streaks.

“That would be $300 dollars,” she quoted.

“What?” I said in astonishment and shock. The most expensive haircut I have ever had was $75. There was no way I was going to spend $300 on my hair.

“I can only afford $200.”

“Okay, I will see what I can do.” I was getting ready to do something I haven’t done in a long time, color my hair with highlights. It would involve bleaching parts of my hair. Something that I have never done before. And while I felt sorry for what my hair was about to experience, it was time to do something different.

My natural hair was long, thick and black. It wasn’t until the twins arrived that my grays became the highlights of my head and apparently my conversations.

“You have so much gray now.’ Someone would say now and then. I would roll my eyes.

Yes I know with a heavy heart.

I had always embraced my grays proudly. There was nothing wrong with looking like one’s age. And besides, I thought growing old was a privilege?

Not that I am admitting that I am old. Far from it. There were days when I felt so tired and as gray as the strands of hair on my head. I was doing and giving so much. To work, to my family and to my community. Until one day, two years ago, I couldn’t give anymore and decided I had enough.

Self care wasn’t a viral event. It took time. Awareness and effort. And intention.

“You should do highlights.” My aunt suggested it right before I flew to Oz last October. It’s probably not a bad idea. And why not?

Why not indeed?

I thought about my husband. He would probably not approve. But then it’s not his hair.

It was absurd to think I would need anyone’s permission to dye my hair but then I realized that it wasn’t the permission of others that I needed. It was me. I had to give myself permission to do this.

It wasn’t about the gray strands or the aging process. It was about me deciding that my life was more than just doing the hard stuff. Being a mom, running my husband’s business, doing community work or helping bring income. I can also do the fun stuff.

As I hopped onto the plane to Australia for my brother’s wedding, I made a decision. I decided to embrace fun and was determined to do things that would bring me joy.

So I dyed my hair and changed how the world saw me.

“Wow, you look gorgeous!” a coworker stopped typing as she stared in wonder at my long curls, highlighted in streaks of gold.

“Thank you!” I said with a smile, grateful to be noticed. Again.

The compliments kept coming. Even weeks after I dyed my hair, someone would look at me and stared for a little while. Then, they would wonder about what made me look different.

“It’s your hair!”

“I love it!”

I love it too and I am so glad that I gave myself permission to dye my hair. Was it worth $200?

Absolutely.